A Year and Some Change

January 23, 2023

We stepped off the plane as the sun rose and immediately got hit with the humid Pacific heat. Twelve fresh-faced Americans just hopped off a 10-hour flight of fully air-conditioned, movie-watching luxury. We’re standing in baggage claim now with the free bottles of Fiji Water we just got at customs. 

A black duffel… brown luggage… a unicorn pack, and another black duffel…

“Where are our bags?” said a fellow trainee. I noticed his tattoos while we were still in LA.

Yeah, where are my bags? Everything I have is in those bags… my clothes, my books…

The carousel doesn’t stop.

I see our Country Director coming up with a lip-sticked smile keen to greet us… I remembered her face from Zoom, but her energy was unmistakable, confirming the Kury I saw on my laptop display was now enveloping us in a 3-dimensional hug.

Everything is going so fast…

Is my dress okay? It’s covering my shoulders and my legs, but I don’t know… Is it too tight against my torso?

My photo album’s in my luggage.

I say hi to another staff member, wrangling my monkey brain to be mindful of this human in front of me.

Leave a good impression. Leave a good impression. You made it to Fiji. Don't f---ing waste it. 

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January 23, 2024

I wake up before the sunrise spills into my home. I go outside to use the restroom and avoid as many rain droplets as I can, rubbing my eyes with my left hand and holding my phone in the right. 

Okay, it’s 5:24. If I start writing the handouts now, I’ll have two hours to work on them before I take a shower around 7:30.

It’s the second day of Personal Money Management training, and I’m wondering how many people are gonna show up.

We’ll be talking about where to hold their savings - in livestock, banks, community-saving loan associations… or… what was SACCO again?

I open my phone and catch the date before Face ID whisks it away.

F--k - my newsletters due today… and it's 5:45!

flush

I sit on my ibei¹ and prepare to write "10 Tips to Following a Budget." I’m surrounded by blank newspaper sheets, half-dry markers, two Peace Corps training manuals in English and Fijian, and my cat Luna who’s lying in his usual spot - directly on top of my work. 

As I scooch him off gently (but not that gently), I get a buzz on my phone. 

“Happy one year anniversary you guys 😩”

I’m taken back.

Everything is going so fast…  One thing after another after another after another.

Orientation. Training. Swearing-in.

Moving to site. Sharing meals. Drinking grog at community meetings.

Church gatherings, funerals, and weekend trips.

Grant proposals, project workshops.

Half-dug water drains and unwashed dishes.

A couple of weddings, lots of cake.

New vocabulary into everyday jokes.

Tears of loneliness with tears of joy.

Showing up and hiding away.

Figuring it out along the way.

Ugh, I forgot to journal today...

The carousel doesn’t stop.

I take a deep breath and recenter my focus. You have a job to do. You're a Peace Corps Volunteer and you have 15 months left in Fiji. Don't f---ing waste it.

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1. ibei -  these are the woven mats that Fijians sit and sleep on daily. They hold high cultural significance as women pass down the craft of preparing pandanus leaves to then weave them into beautiful gifts for weddings, birthdays, chiefly celebrations, and more.